Pastors
often talk about their call to ministry. Dag Hammarskjöld, the second
Secretary-General of the United Nations, articulates my understanding of
call in these words from Markings, his journal: "I don't know who - or
what - put the question, I don't know when it was put. I don't even
remember answering. But at some moment I did answer Yes to
Someone - or Something - and from that hour I was certain that existence
is meaningful and that, therefore, my life, in surrender, had a goal." A
call entails more mystery than clarity, but that makes surrendering a Yes no less certain.
I
had no childhood dream of becoming a pastor or Teaching Elder. During
my twenties, I experienced a tugging, an uneasiness, a longing that did
not abate until I quit my full time job and returned to school to
prepare for seminary and ordained ministry. Nancy, my bride, had a
similar experience. After serving for years as a church musician, she
took some seminary classes to learn more about worship and theology. She
had no intention of preaching or presiding at Eucharist. Along the way
God began to draw and call her and she began a journey toward priesthood
that took over a decade. Where and how she would serve remained largely
a mystery, but she offered her Yes and followed where it led.
In
his Commencement Address in the Princeton University Chapel in May
2003, Thomas Gillespie observed: "When you have a calling, you do not
have a career and therefore do not need a plan. You simply answer God's
call and let it lead you where it will." Neither Nancy nor I planned the
paths of ministry we have traveled. We tried to discern where God
offered particular calls that allowed us to answer our general call to
ministry.
Clergy
are not interchangeable parts. We all have strengths and weaknesses,
and above all we have a call. Presbyterians and Anglicans require
affirmation of a personal call by a congregation and the denomination.
More than once I have felt inadequate for the tasks before me. My call,
that initial Yes, and those affirmations of it provided the faith and foolishness to continue.
Nancy's
and my sense of call was shaken early this year when the priests
serving at Christ Church Cathedral were told unexpectedly that all of
them must leave their positions before the arrival of a new dean.
Associate pastors often leave after a new head of staff arrives, but
neither the priests nor the congregation of Christ Church anticipated
their departures before that took place. Nancy did not yet feel released from
her call to the congregation, but her call to the priesthood remained
strong; so she began to listen. No positions open in this diocese seemed
a good fit for her talents and abilities and none stirred her initial Yes;
so she began speaking about possibilities for interim ministry with
deployment officers in surrounding dioceses and dioceses where we have
grandchildren. Several conversations with congregations proved
stimulating, but only one felt like a call. When the leadership of the
congregation called her, Nancy agreed to serve as Interim Rector of the
Episcopal Church of the Epiphany in Guntersville, Alabama, a relatively
short drive from our two grandsons. We expect this interim to last
twelve to eighteen months.
Nancy and I are as
deeply in love as ever, perhaps more. Our marriage covenant has never
been stronger. We did not plan to live in separate states for a while,
but that is where our calls have led us. My sense of call to this
congregation has not diminished. Congregational leaders or presbyterial
colleagues have not suggested that I need to move on. Unless that
changes, I still plan to be here for a good while yet.
Several years ago a noted Presbyterian pastor quipped, "Nothing
is sadder in the eyes of God than a minister who started out with a
calling and ended up with a career." My bride has a call. She is a
priest. She thinks, acts, and feels like a priest. A call to the
Episcopal priesthood seems to be in her DNA. I am a Teaching Elder. I
sometimes fight against it, but that's who I am. For a while Nancy and I
will answer our calls in different locations, but the same God who
calls us to these positions also calls us to life in covenant. When this
interim ministry has ended, our covenants with God and each other will
be stronger and every hour we spend together will be even sweeter. We do
not have a plan for what will follow that, but we have a call and
confidence that our initial Yes will guide us still.
Glad to share ministry with you, MWPC saints,
LP
No comments:
Post a Comment