I
recently completed my annual self-review, using a tool recommended to
me a decade ago. The early steps of this process invite you to look back
on your life and to identify the milestones: significant dates, people,
places, and occupations; key events; and dreams, aspirations, and
interests. After charting that "evolution" of your life, you look for
patterns and what they have to teach.
Since
I have used this resource regularly, I have several charts of my
evolution. This year, as always, some differences expectedly flowed from
another year of life. But I also observed that the milestones I chose
had more impact than I had realized on the patterns I identified and
what I learned from them. When most of my milestones focused on endings,
I typically responded by scrambling to recover. When my milestones
emphasized beginnings, I felt drawn to new and renewed promises.
Although both seem necessary, I'd much rather have the latter primarily
shape me.
Death
of a loved one, divorce, and undesired dismissal force our evolution.
To remain healthy (however we measure that) we must deal with them
honestly so that we can heal and recover. Some scrambling seems
unavoidable. Yet, beginnings beckon even in those profound endings.
Something wonderful has been lost, but vestiges of the wonder remain.
On
other occasions, we can decide whether to focus on the ending or the
beginning. When a child leaves home for college, military service, or to
establish another home, some things end. She or he may "visit" again or
may return to the nest for a season, but precious years of a certain
kind of life together are over. Yet, we can also view that as the
beginning of our child's reaching for dreams, stretching toward a hope,
and building on the foundation we helped to lay. That makes it possible
for us to begin forming an adult relationship with our child, which
offers a different but no less precious kind of life together.
What
most defines us? What do we most want to define us? Who we have been
and what we have done ever remain with us. Do they define our parameters
or provide a place from which to reach for new and renewed life?
Regardless of our age or stage in life, do we primarily recover from
what has been or reach for what now is and can be? Paul declared that we
belong to God in both life and death. From a Christian perspective,
even death yields to new beginnings. An old prayer for memorial services
asks God to help us live as people who are not afraid to die. That does
not call for martyrdom and does not diminish the loss that comes with
death. Rather it reminds us that death does not define us. Endings will
always come, thanks be to God. Yet, each one yields to new or renewed
promise and life. May we embrace endings and beginnings, but allow and
ask for the latter to define us.
Grace and Peace,
LP
LP, thank you for this positive approach. Anticipating that I will retire "someday" from a job that has been more of a calling, I am struggling to make a plan. Would you be able to share the name of the self assessment tool?
ReplyDeleteToni P